New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
