Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize