we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
