just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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