and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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