I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Let's get the cat blown out
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
