Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
