like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
