if you like me you must not know who I am
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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