Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
