I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Houston, we have a squirter
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
