im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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