i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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