woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
