We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
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When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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