I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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