also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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