Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
