You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
