finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize