A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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