3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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