I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
