Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize