Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
