He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
