It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
