I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
