I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
