you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
