at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
