Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm at about main and main street
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
