I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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