no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
