Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
