Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
