I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
