her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
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His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
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Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
sex in a hospital.. check
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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