When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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