Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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