This is not my ceiling
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
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Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.