i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.