Wipe that smile off your face.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say