ADVERTISEMENT

• (478): View more from Georgia

  This is not my ceiling

  Fav 11 2126 936

  share tweet
  

• (925): View more from California

  im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy

  Fav 19 2984 968

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (619): View more from California

  I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.

  Fav 15 7170 1842

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here

  Fav 2 2507 1041

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.

  Fav 2 1056 1692

  share tweet
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.

  Fav 8 1779 716

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF

  Fav 2 1105 605

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.

  Fav 8 2736 866

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Thats your rule and this car is nice

  Fav 1 938 606

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (858): View more from California

  Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?

  Fav 1 722 454

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"

  Fav 2 572 964

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world

  Fav 0 957 569

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.

  Fav 4 600 1116

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.

  Fav 2 343 411

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.

  Fav 0 178 80

  share tweet
  

Randomize