glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night