So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
