I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it