This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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