we made out on top of his cat.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
