i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
