I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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