i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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