Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
