the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
