I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
