That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Less talking, more tequila
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
