I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
