Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
