i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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