sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
