Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
