NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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