I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
