you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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