You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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