census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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