This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
