You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
