anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
