"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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