can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
