you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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