I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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